Communication in Relationship Building

Have you ever stood face to face with someone that is talking to you and your mind is not there even though you are staring at them in the eyes? Of course you have, we’ve all been there and most likely will still go there. Try to think of an instance where such action landed you into trouble.

I learnt recently at a mentorship session that the best communicators in the world are not the ones that use their mouths the most, but the ones that listen emphatically.

In other words:

1. Be ready and available to listen. After all we have two ears and one mouth.

2. Begin with something positive when  pointing out the other person’s fault or error. For example, “sweetie you know you’re the best wife and mom in the world, it seems however that you’ve been neglecting some house chores this past week. You need me to take some time off work to do them?”. That’s the sandwich principle.

3. Never attack, share your emotion and thought. For example ” when you told me that I was making irrelevant points I felt bad” as opposed to “you don’t know how to talk”.

4. Do not ever assume. Ask to clarify.

5. Clarify your needs. Try not to adopt the “I shouldn’t have to ask theory.”

6. Don’t exagerrate. We tend to colour the situation more than necessary with “you’re always….”, “you never ….”

7. Be yourself in all of these. Stand by your own principle at the onset of the relationship and you will not need to be defined by the opinions of others so as not to become a confused person because trust me, opinions change a lot. To keep up, you will have to be changing with them.

“All lasting business is built on friendship.” Alfred A. Montapert.

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